Youre the first person who is happy with it. I teach high school. 2. You certainly will. The Next Giant Leap. All rights reserved. A person receiving this praise could also feel belittled it could feel as though their achievement was unexpected - a surprise to the other person. Its powerful. Pause, take a deep breath, and remember who you really are. 3. But, when you want to make your responses more effective and special, these are some good ways to do it. Graduates: TBA, Grandparents: PET for Grandparents. Why is this such a contentious phrase? Renew your PET skills; complete the full course over flexible times; or one-off parenting sessions. Responding to Im proud of you with gratitude is also a great way to show appreciation to others. Because this was someone elses idea. (I'd prefer "Wow, that must have taken some thought and courage! A hug or a gentle touch of the hand can even get this message across. So, if youve achieved something in your educational or professional field, and someone informs you theyre proud of you, it means you did a great job there. Setting goals you can achieve, also called "realist goals," reduces the chance of frustration or doubting yourself or your abilities. Here I would say something like, Youre so talented!/Thats brilliant! Lets look at some examples (followed by some suggested alternatives) adult first, then child, to help illustrate this point: Manager: "Im proud of the report youve written". She continually updates her course with new examples and relevant material from the latest research. Who is saying this to whom? that he harrassed them or . No, I am more proud of you, too. Saying, Im proud of you, is a great word and its an expression from the heart. July 7, 2020 April 21, 2018 One man said, "I am so proud of my partner when we are at receptions together; many men are around her wishing to make love to her . Kids also like to know that they invoke parental prideas long as it genuine! For what? Thanks. Thanks for making us proud. 1. Updated 7th September 2016; and 19th April 2019. This is why we say, I am very happy for you! They are the one to feel proudit was THEIR accomplishment. It means that in their eyes you have come a long way from a place you began. The phrase that has always hit me hardest, however, has been "I'm proud of you." Someone saying that they're proud of you implies that, not only are they impressed by what you do and who you are, they also want others to know it. First, he is probably higher status / higher power. Narcissism can be a personality trait and a mental health disorder, and someone can have narcissistic tendencies without being labeled a "narcissist." When you live with narcissistic. 5. My mother said it to me when I graduated from college and I will never forget it. Maybe Im mad, because it makes me feel like he thinks I wasnt doing enough before I started back at work- like carrying children inside of my body for nearly two years, plus birthing them, plus never sleeping, plus cleaning for HOURS upon HOURS everyday, plus cooking, plus plus plus wasnt enough to be proud of. And John is left feeling confused and despondent. Imperfect, striving, playful, loving, learning. So we arranged to have her drive to the hotel where I was staying and we drove there together. Oh, youre one of my trusted supporters! I can take pride if I made a contribution, but I have to frame it that way. My native language is not English, but I have fallen into the unfortunate (for somethings) of social netwoks, like facebook. . If you're more than a friend it's more loving. I believe you. They dont have more power than you, and in some cases less, but their opinion matters because they know you so well, and because you respect them and what they think. I think children want simply to be accepted and respected as themselves. I knew it, if no one was going to like this. Congratulations on your graduation, dear son. Suddenly I found myself questioning my rather lame Im thrilled for you. They just say it. The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all others, charity. But to be proud of them? The phrase "Im proud of you" insinuates that the speaker (parent, teacher, co-worker, boss) has more experience, or power, or in some manner has the right to pronounce their opinion, on someone elses effort. 11. I grew up being complimented for my looks . My former partner just recently told me that he was proud of me after major accomplishment. said Christopher Robin. Think of things people have often praised. But this seems less common. 13. Im happy that youre with me in good and bad times. I live about 200 miles from the old college & she lives in the same town as the college is located. I was actually kicked out of my house at 16 by her and her new husband and had financial trouble during my years in school that she had contributed to, how in the hell can she be proud of me when all she did was hinder me? Even if it's true, he says, "I don't want to think that I was walking around for a long time looking like hell.". 6. The parent might have paid a lot of money, or given up time, to coach and practice tennis with their winning child. And guess what? It makes us feel seen, understood, and appreciated. He may not have been able to think of something better or funny so he settled for that. Because we ran into a bunch of other classmates that were also there, we didnt spend time exclusively with each other but we did sit together at the game. This is a very interesting discussion for me. It's a pretty good deal. relationship advice marriage advice Women love advice. Its all because of blessings and good wishes, I could do it. I felt great to know he as proud of me, especially after he had read my term report cards in high school. 25. If a parent can say, Im proud of you, then can the parent also say the opposite , Children may become dependent on their parents (and others, such as teachers or grandparents) evaluation of their achievements. If there is a mentor relationship, fine, but when the relationship is supposed to be about equals, 2. Likewise, these are special, cute, and funny replies when someone says I am proud of you and you dont know what to respond next. Children who are continually praised, or told "Im proud of you" may not believe their parent. Id have fallen over from shock if I ever heard it from anyone in my family (& still would!). 4. Now, of course, its diminished if the person throws the phrase around too casually to colleagues, all family members, etc., but if they are a genuine and caring person, then I believe it shows a deeper connection. You reject that person's generosity. I do find it odd to say "I'm proud of you for doing the dishes". "), Parent: "Im proud that you got all As in your school report/won that tennis trophy", How might you feel as the child? They are much more aware and can see through false motivation easily. For Stein, the worst compliment is hearing: "You've lost soooo much weight! Don't disguise it as concern, either. Go To Homepage. 8. Now, John may hear "I'm disappointed that this is the same picture. Im proud of you could be seen as an external judgement a parents verdict on a childs performance. 11. Your thoughts and ideas are so creative, which has allowed you to refine your talent into something unique from others. William, however, was too proud and too obstinate to lend himself to such a course. Exactly the information I was looking for thank you! Connect, Converse and Communicate Better. They may become adults who are vulnerable, who do not have a strong sense of self-worth. And thats enough for me. It was then that I realized that who I am is a unique, valuable, and loveable person. In other words, I care so much about the other person, that their accomplishment can evoke pride in ME. Yea, Thank you is not the only response. I'm so proud of your painting!" We all have people in our lives who make us feel special, appreciated, and respected. I avoid "well done" or "good job" for all the reasons Ive stopped saying "Im proud of you". I am in awe of your talent and accomplishments. Ive been lurching between How can you be proud of someone elses children? but then challenging that with But then as we do both have a close relationship with her we probably have had some influence on how shes turning out . But I would also add another category: people who know you well *because* they have worked with you and even for you for a long time. But one doesn't want to say that they're not proud of their country if they're looking to lead it. Most times, people use "I am busy" as a tool for avoidance. It seems to me that the authors of the study used the phrase 'I'm proud of you' as a catch-all measurement, to reflect a parent's emotional connection with, and support, for, their child - and that it was this emotional involvement that provided protection against suicidal ideation. Oh.. very good. (Of course, there are always people who try to suck up to youbut hopefully you can see through it!) Want to Change the Way you React to Your Children? What someone else does might make me proud to be his or her friend/teacher/partner/whatever and thats exactly how Ill express it Im proud to be your fill-in-the-blank. ( Or even what youve done makes me proud to call myself your ____). [Chorus] They say redemption's on your mind when you think about . I started to cry with the realization that in my 40+ years I had never heard it from anyone but him. 24. To reply to that right, here are the better and funny responses to I am proud of you from your bestie. Second, he must know you well. As soon as you break . Talents Compliments. Its 10 years later, and I hope that, by now, you have told your children, if you mean it, that you are proud of them. To say you're proud of someone is to say that you can relate to them and, if in their shoes, you would be proud of the accomplishment. If this is the case, then of whom is the parent really proud? I cannot understand that and think he is misusing the word. Whoever those people are, they are probably your mentors. The child has done well enough for the parent to bring out the big guns the proud word. For many of us, hearing this phrase is like a warm hug. For me, this was a huge take-away moment. Most of the time, to be proud of someone means you know where they've been and how far they've come pride is a word about growth. stories on the Parent Skills website are posted only as opinion or ideas, and are general in nature. you see the work of your close friend and you tell him "I am proud of you". As a friend I want you to know that I am so proud of you. And, here are the respectful replies to respond with: 1. Looking for some extra money from your parents? 1. 9 Focus on Them When Praising Them PeopleImages / Getty Images Required fields are marked *. Focus on what is positive in their life and avoid getting overly . I also have to let go of holding it against him, because I presume it was a well-meaning gaffeinstead of saying how happy he is for me, as hes never been belittling before. In fact, whenever I hear this phrase from a colleague, I immediately understand that this person in reality is envious of my achievements and the phrase Im really happy for you in fact means Im very unhappy that its not my achievement, that you and not me is getting the praise/ promotion/ degree/ lottery win, I hate you for that and I wish I was in your place right now. "Im proud of you!" As in, he's purely attracted to your appearance. When someone insults you, the first thing you want to do is take a pause and a deep breath. So, lets get started! They may start to see their parent as being insincere, or even manipulative. She was very rude and grouchy with me and reluctantly corrected her errors after I asked the manager to get involved. Love you so much. But what does proud mean? We had a really nice time. Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window). Powered by WordPress. What are we trying to say or do, when we innocently, and with the best of intentions, praise our children with "Im proud of you"? 12. Let me tell you why. Praise does not help bring up children who have an internal belief in themselves, of self-worth. 4. If you care deeply for someone, it is entirely possible to share the sense of pride that they feel in THEIR achievement without your hijacking it in any way. Be proud of you." - Oprah Winfrey 3. Better Responses 2023. Its really a way of saying I am really the one who is special, Im the boss.and what it deserves is not thank you but rather, well kiss my ass you condescending bastard..get a lifethis proud of you nonsense is also related to people who have to say WELL GOOD FOR YOU when doing something mundane..like, someone catches me reading a book in publicoh, you are readingWELL, GOOD FOR YOU!! I was very irritated and angry. If you teach someone maths and they pass their exam same thing they are good because they have taken notice of your teaching. But some of us never heard the expression in our lives till we were adults. 13. Don't remind them how far they've come. She only ever said it once but it has stuck with me forever: You might say: "I'm so proud of you for trying to quit smoking. And as it was your friends achievement, oughtnt she be the one who feels proud? But, seeing youre proud of me, Im fine. "I know someone in recovery". I was an ambitious student with a goal to attend university, which my father completely supported. He may understand you have daddy issues and need a masculine pat on the back. Well, that means they're impressed, happy, and overjoyed with what you did, achieved, or say something. Happy I did it, finally! 3. 2. Im glad I found this interesting discussion, as I just had a man I am seeing state I am proud of you and it made me feel great, yet at the same time realized that it can come from a position of higher power so I needed to contemplate the relationship.